Managing Differences - Job #1

One of my most important takeaways from Vantage Partner's Alliance University last month was the whole idea that alliances at their core, are about managing differences.

We've all heard people say that alliances are all about "finding the win-win", "looking for the joint value proposition", finding "common ground" and the like. It turns out, that while those things are important, even necessary in forging an alliance relationship, they are not sufficient.

Why?

Well, think about it. According to various studies, alliances have a 50% (or higher depending on the study) failure rate. Presumably, the alliances formed based on identified "common ground" or compelling "joint value proposition", but they didn't last. When I look back at failed partnerships in my 15+ years in alliances, the root cause of the failures was a lack of attention paid to the differences between the two organizations.

Alliance managers sit in between two organizations with different structures, business models, politics, org charts, policies, cultures, philosophies, processes, contracts, etc. etc. The list of differences is usually longer than the list of things we have in common!

When we just focus on the things we have in common, the things our two companies are completely aligned on, and ignore the long list of things where we are not aligned - where we have differences - we are inviting the inevitable conflict. Often that conflict simmers under the surface, but it is always there, like a cancer on the alliance relationship. Left untreated, the patient - our partnership - dies.

Instead, we should proactively, deliberately and intentionally, work with our partner to identify our areas of difference, with particular focus on those areas that are likely to cause conflict. It is a fool's errand to pretend that we can wish away or hope away these differences. A better strategy is to face them head on, and talk openly as a joint team about how we can manage these differences.

Managing differences is job #1 for alliance managers!

Mind the Gap

Stu Kliman from Vantage Partners did an excellent session for our alliances organization last week on conflict management and resolution. My takeaways from this session, which we called SAS Alliance University, will be the subject of several blog posts.

My first takeaway I call "Mind The Gap". No, not the ubiquitous retail store!

Stu kicked off the session with a video of a difficult conversation between two alliance managers and he asked us to identify "helpful and unhelpful" behaviors. We all proceeded to diagnose the root causes of the conflict and develop a list of the "unhelpful" comments from both parties.

Stu posited that if you could put these two alliance managers in our class and have them watch the same video, they would have no problem identifying the problem behaviors. In other words, "out of the moment" they could dispassionately diagnose the "good, the bad and the ugly." We are the same way - often we know what the right thing thing to do is, but in the moment, we fail to do the right thing.

Why?

When we are in conflict ridden alliance conversations, the stakes are usually high. The success of the alliance is often on the line, and the expectations and pressure to deliver are high. This ratchets up our emotions and increases the likelihood of a bad outcome.

Stu calls this phenomenon - the "gap between our espoused beliefs and our practiced beliefs."

What does it require to close this gap? Humility and deliberate, intentional effort to practice good conflict management and resolution techniques. I'll cover these in subsequent posts.

Ironically, the more arrogant someone is about their conflict management skills, the larger the gap is between their espoused and practiced beliefs! To develop your alliance skills in this area - mind the gap!